Communication Goals

A colleague approaches you with a problem.
My project partners keeps changing the requirements, it's so frustrating.
They want:
  • ... a solution?
  • ... emotional support?
  • ... be heard?
  • ...?

Setting the Scene

Both sides of the conversation share responsibility for making the goal explicit.

Recipient

  • "Do you want help thinking this through, or are you looking for a concrete fix?"
  • "Do you need to vent first, or shall we go straight to options?"

Sender

  • "I'm not looking for a solution yet, I just need to talk this out."
  • It's okay to change your mind mid-conversation.

Exercises

  • Ask intention (next week)
  • Listening 2m
2:00 ready

Engineering Solutions

... Solutions?

Not all problems need (direct) solutions.

  • 🔧 Fix it The problem is yours. Act.
  • ⚙️ Improve the process The same problem will recur. Address the root cause, not the symptom.
  • 🤝 Delegate it Someone else is better placed — or this is their responsibility.
  • 🚫 Leave it alone It's not your problem to solve. Empathy ≠ adoption.
  • ...❓

Exercises

  • Categorize problem (next week)

Being "Helpful"

For technically-minded people, helpfulness is often silently defined as problem-solving. It's a broad spectrum:

  • Listening actively without fixing
  • Naming what kind of help you can offer
  • Asking what kind of help is wanted
  • Redirecting or delegating gracefully
  • Knowing when the most helpful thing is to step back

Summary

Comm. Goals

When in doubt, ask: "What kind of support are you looking for?", or offer the same information.

Categorize

Before engaging with any problem, categorize:

  • fix?
  • improve process?
  • delegate?
  • leave it?

Helping

There's more ways to help than fixing. Presence, listening, and stepping back are equally valid — and often more valuable.